undulation

we were reading Gerard Manley Hopkins in literature class. his time-worn, enchanting metaphorical verses, richly ‘twined with religious and spiritual themes, is the very stuff that speaks to my soul.

I was sitting at the kitchen table, elbows out, in the house of the little boys that I babysit. they had been asleep for many minutes now, and I had already tidied up and finished my homework.

11/22/19

10:15 pm.

mr. and mrs. are usually home a couple minutes before 10. tonight, however, I have a feeling that they’ll be arriving a bit later, which isn’t unwelcome to a broke teenager. might as well be paid for an hour of boredom.

boredom is not destined for me however. my eye strays to a printout of extra credit opportunities tucked into my binder sleeve.

“write a poem imitating Gerard Manley Hopkins”

thoughts have been buzzing around in my head today, about winter and the seasons and especially SAD (Seasonal Affectation Disorder). this year I have come to realize that I have a little bit of SAD mixed into my mess of a mind due to the way that it mirrors the sky. when the grey and gloom and fog obscure the dome of the earth, they tend to cloud my head as well.

but there’s hope, there’s always hope in Him, just as winter melts into spring, and darkness is dissolved beneath the influence of light.

“peace will win, and fear will lose”

those thoughts buzzing around in my head leak through my veins, into my pencil, and take shape in messy handwriting scrawled across the back of a literature worksheet.

those thoughts give life and movement to the words as I take them from a skeleton and build them into a castle of my emotions, Hopkins gently guiding the creative process and keeping together my usual haphazard structure.

mr. and mrs. come home at 10:45 and I am soon dashing across the street, feeling the chlorine bubbling up in my chest and the extra $10 clutched in my hand. i rush breathless up to my mom’s room and force her to read my poem while I dash in a new word here and there.

and she is christened undulation, born from the dangerous rogue of boredom and baptized by the soft hands of Hopkins and metaphor.

she isn’t nearly as romantic and rose-colored as I describe her, yet she satisfies something inside which perhaps needed to be incarnated into ink that night. she’s hope, if anything else, and i hope she may become something to you.

undulation

The air is abalm with odours sweet,

As the breeze chases them through frolicking light arrayed

On the grasses climbing towards the sun’s lofty seat,

Where presiding she smiles on Spring’s punctuated days.

Until waning she loses her mighty grasp on the weeks,

And Falls into mists and many morbid moods,

That suffocate man’s spirit until steady Discontent,

Inside him broods.

But winter’s white prayers come and begin their work,

Until vanishing they awaken the souls of stagnant earth

And hidden life deep,

So that bursting in golden green raiment forth,

God’s promise into man’s soul may creep.

“I ponder of something great, my lungs will fill and then deflate. They fill with fire, exhale desire, I know it’s dire, my time today.” -car radio

17 thoughts on “undulation”

  1. jul, you know what? i really, really needed this post today. altho i usually love winter/autumn, this year the season has kinda been… not so good for me. i even began to wonder if i myself had a little bit of SAD maybe.

    but this, jul. THIS~

    this post, especially the poem, was so, so beautiful. i cannot fully describe just how i felt as i read it. and the tøp references were perfect. you’re incredibly talented at weaving your words into something so beautifully artistic and descriptive. i’m always saying this, but i’m saying it again, you are like, one of the greatest writers i have EVER come across. thank you for sharing this poem. it’s wonderful.

    lots of love ||-//

    Liked by 1 person

    1. oh sarah you make me tear up with the sweet sweet beautiful love you always leave on my posts ❤️❤️❤️
      I showed your comment to my mom and she said she wishes she had a Sarah to motivate her 🤗🤗
      and yes … this season has been harder than usual. I’m not sure if you have daylight savings in the UK, but they really messed me up this year. I’m still not completely adjusted, and the early darkness combined with the dreariness of most winter days brought me to the realization that I have a bit of SAD. But the joy and light and sounds of Christmas help so much, and I’m beyond excited for the holidays this year. And I’ve come to appreciate light and the sky so much more! There’s always little positive things that come out of negative things, I’m finding.
      woah, that was long. but knowing that we have very similar personalities, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were prone to SAD as well. But there’s always hope, always. Period. I wish you light and love, Sarah 💞💞💞
      and you are so unbelievably encouraging … the end of your comment brought me to tears. it means so much, it inspires me so much. I’m so lucky to have you and all this support of my writing in the blog world. I had NO idea what an incredible community I was going to be a part of when I decided to take a fling at blogging. I’m so, so blessed.
      wow this ended up being a huge mess of a comment 😂 please forgive me, and thank you so very much ❤️
      power to the local dreamer ||-//

      Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re so welcome Eliza! It makes me warm inside to know that you liked it 💕
      our family got our Christmas tree tonight, so it was definitely a magical day! I wish you sunshine and sparkles as well … 💝
      power to the local dreamer ||-//

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  2. Jul,
    This poem is GORGEOUS. You are ever so talented and never cease to amaze me. I love the inspiration. And, of course, this is a very hard time of year, so I do sincerely hope that peace wins quickly in your favor. 🙂 ||-//

    Liked by 1 person

    1. you are so sweet!! 💞 thank you so very much! I’m praying that Christ brings His peace into this new year, for me and for all of my wonderful blog frens 🤗 thank you for stopping in and leaving your encouragement 💕
      power to the local dreamer ||-//

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  3. juls. JULS. you know that feeling of walking in on something so rich and bright and overwhelmingly full of life that words can’t do it justice? the word beautiful is an understatement for this post and every single one you write in sheer honesty. and YES, gerard manley hopkins is a wonderful poet– the way he interlaces thick feelings in his words is just gnarly. the extra credit assignment reminded me of “spring and fall” :)) the way you described writing the poem to build a castle of borrowed bones really struck me. it’s amazing how the words seem to be in you the whole time, just waiting for you to pick them out like cherries. personally, the end result is a messily made pie bursts with flavor XD. gerard would be proud of your poem and the way you described winter melting into spring, trapped dreams melting into golden joy. after all, peace will win and faith will loose ❤

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    1. it’s crazy how even boredom can produce something new and beautiful! creativity and inspiration really can hit you anywhere :))
      thank you for all of your comments! you are so kind ❤️
      power to the local dreamer ||-//

      Like

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