spray-paint craters

i pose a question: have you ever stared into the flames of a campfire for an hour and suddenly are struck with the thought that your inner world is often much more real than the physical outer world? i provide an answer: i had a dream that a tidal wave washed away the boardwalk and… Continue reading spray-paint craters

the last first day

it doesn't feel like a school day as you stumble through the hallways, trying to find your classroom, even though you're smiling wider than you have in days; into strange, small, slightly-scared faces. they light up for a split second when they see your smile, as if the sun has peeped through the clouds and… Continue reading the last first day

backwards

life is continually and inexorably chronological, but there’s no rule against writing it backwards. especially when life is a bit backwards right now, and my shirt is inside out. so instead of a dawn, I’ll begin with a sunset. squinting eyes and sweaty foreheads as a sister of 9 years tramps besides me west down… Continue reading backwards

bits and pieces

substance. something that is lost between 2 half-written songs and 3 post drafts and 4 works-in-progress and 5 assignments all due within 3 days. when you're an all-or-nothing person, it hurts to have so many pieces of you in so many different places. a thin spread of mediocrity over 16 different projects sits uneasily in… Continue reading bits and pieces

dear school

dear school, i know, i know ... you weren't supposed to end until late may anyways. and it's only the end of april now. 'can't you just hold on for 4 more weeks?' you ask. it sounds reasonable to the administration, to the teachers, to our parents - even to myself, at first. it can't… Continue reading dear school

2 am: a sketch

the rain upstairs sounds like popcorn kernels popping in the microwave. the rain in the basement sounds like the gentle sloppiness of a toad plodding his wet way through muddy gravel. ~ ~ ~ it's 2 am and you've been avoiding it for several hours now. you've been watching singing videos instead, because you like… Continue reading 2 am: a sketch

jul

she was just 10 years old and she had been a wild pony for the first 9 of her life. her parents' friends had given them "The Strong-Willed Child" in an effort to tame her enormous personality. one small montessori school couldn't contain her stallion spirit and had sent her back home. she had tripped… Continue reading jul

don’t close your eyes, child

01/06/20 there’s a minty taste in my mouth as I climb into the rental car and wave goodbye to my grandparents. they're standing besides the flowering mailbox nestled beneath the shade of a magnificent oak tree, hanging with the antique paraphernalia that seems to inhabit every corner of the old orange-stone house. i can still… Continue reading don’t close your eyes, child

undulation

we were reading Gerard Manley Hopkins in literature class. his time-worn, enchanting metaphorical verses, richly ‘twined with religious and spiritual themes, is the very stuff that speaks to my soul. I was sitting at the kitchen table, elbows out, in the house of the little boys that I babysit. they had been asleep for many… Continue reading undulation

tell me something beautiful

You're feeling that ice coldForgetting the good thingsCaught up in the problemsPlease stop complaining yes, my throat and ears are feeling ice cold, sickly, ringing with an empty, dull pain. large purple shadows hang under my eyes and my lower lip is limp and swollen. there is no light in my room, besides what is… Continue reading tell me something beautiful